If your relationship feels stuck, focus on your own energy healing first.
Energy healing and relationships go hand in hand for a healthy, vibrant connection. If you came to me and said, “My relationship feels ‘meh,’ we’re having a lot of conflicts, I don’t feel connected anymore, and I resent my partner,” I would first look to see what is going on with your chakras. Next, I would translate the visual images I see to tease out the stuck belief(s) that are keeping that chakra from functioning properly.
Remember, chakras don’t get blocked for no reason. They start to malfunction if there is energy that doesn’t belong there. This energy sticks to beliefs you’re holding on to that are unconscious and not true to you. See more about how energy gets stuck in chakras here.
Which chakra is out of whack? And why is that happening?
When I’m in a session with you, I look for the images within a particular chakra that point me to the story you’ve been holding onto. After I observe the images you’re showing me, I will translate them. My read on the situation might lead me to interpret, for example, a belief lurking in your third which is: I’m only worthy of love if I’m in service to others. I need to DO things in order to receive love. Love is expressed by what a person DOES. (Remember, we’re in the third chakra, which is the DO chakra).
If you’ve been unconsciously operating from that belief, you will attract people with views that are a match to that energy. This shared belief that is not authentic to either of you will cause trouble. You may start cording into each other energetically, have shared karma playing out, or operate on unconscious agreements. All this will have you both co-mingling in a sloppy, soupy way.
Below is an example of how this can play out.
What happens when you attract someone with a shared unhealed belief?
If you’re going through life with the unconscious belief that you’re only worthy of love through actions, and that’s how you get people to love you, there’s a high likelihood you’ll attract someone with a corresponding or similar belief.
You might partner with someone who believes that if someone really loves them, they will DO a lot for them. (Perhaps they had a caretaker who didn’t express love in words or affection but did a lot for them as a child.) As you can see, it’s the same root issue—tying love and self-worth to actions of service.
You’re excited about this person and want them to love you, so you’re doing doing doing in order to earn love from them.
As time passes, you may start to do less for the other person because the initial spark of the relationship has faded, and the dynamic will feel laborious and drab. You may get tired of doing things for this person, which can cause them to panic and feel unloved.
As you do less for your partner, it can be interpreted in a catastrophic “you don’t love me anymore” way—and they may start to withhold love from you in return, thus affecting your sense of self-worth. This all leads to conflict and is a dead end. Love is not solely expressed by what we DO—which is why each of you will feel increasingly empty and unfulfilled.
The power of finding what is stuck in a chakra and healing it.
Step one in starting to untangle this dynamic is to remove the sticky energy in your third chakra that has you believing you are only worthy of love if you are serving another. Visualizing the removal of that energy and the chakra’s healing with me is very powerful!
When the stuck beliefs are cleaned out, your energy around how you view your partner will feel more neutral, authentic, and grounded.
You can now start to consciously craft how you want to show up in the relationship and how you desire to share the vibration of love with someone. Changing the vibe may involve a period of re-negotiating the nature of the relationship dynamic. Re-patterning takes patience and clear communication.
Energy healing can be challenging work! You may feel “off” or drained after we’ve shed light on what beliefs were being released from your space.
Imagine getting rid of an old piece of furniture that was blocking your front entrance. For years, you just walked around it. Then, suddenly it’s gone. It’s incredible what we can get used to that, in reality, is totally out of place for us. The space after the removal of the old chair might feel funny and empty for a bit—you may even habitually walk around the spot where the chair used to be.
Energy work can feel a lot like this chair example—which is why I would then guide you through filling up that chakra with what you DO want to believe. Taking ownership of your beliefs is big work! Believing that you are always worthy of love, no matter what, may take a minute to digest and integrate into your mind and body. It’s a pretty radical thought!
Clean chakras help you create healthy relationships.
Next, we would work on you consciously deciding what you want to offer in a relationship and not have those actions linked with outdated unconscious beliefs around the worthiness of love.
It’s amazing what can shift in your relationship when you take ownership of the reasons or stuck beliefs that are contributing to unwanted patterns! When a lie is identified and removed from your space, you can see yourself and your partner more clearly and compassionately.
This clarity will help you feel safe in the relationship and help you know what your next steps will be, even if it means ending the relationship. Transitioning out of a relationship with love, clarity, and compassion for yourself and your partner in a harmonious way is possible with this kind of work.
However, you may be surprised how much a person in your environment will start to match you energetically when you’ve done your own healing work and are vibing high with a clear sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to anything other than your divine right to be on this planet givin’ out and receiving love.
With care, Three Brodsky, Spiritual Coach
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